lingerie but I know now that part of this was so that I might have pleasure vicariously.

After marriage, I had no opportunity for carrying out my Transvestite desires. When both my children, a son, and a dau- ghter married and left our home the dormant desires became active. This happened suddenly. One day I found an illustrated catalog from a women's clothing store. I looked through it. A pair of lacy panties struck my eyes. I had never had such a feeling as then came over me. I think that the long-dormant feelings came flooding out. I sent away for a pair. When they came I donned them in secret and my heart beat wildly as only Transvestites can understand. I knew what I had been missing for so long.

I began to buy lingerie. In fact, the urge was so strong that at times, when money was not plentiful, I sold some of my books (and next to my feminine clothing my library is very impor- tant). For quite some time, the urge to buy was so compulsive that I could hardly control it.

I began to wear pretty things in bed. My wife and I occ- upied at this time twin beds so for a time the change was not noted by her. One day, she came to me to make love, to make love, something that for quite a long time she had not desired. She found what I was wearing and was shocked. I tried to explain what Trans- vestism was and since then have succeeded but have never been able to eradicate her disgust. Intuitively she knew that I would graduate from wearing panties to other articles of feminine att- ire and she was right. Now I have a wardrobe of lovely feminine wear but wear it at times when my wife will not come upon me be- cause, though I should love to have her approval, I do not feel it is fair to annoy her because her views differ from mine. My Transvestism is very satisfying. None but a Transves- tite can know the feeling one has when arrayed in lovely garments. It cannot be told in words. But I should like more. I should like to be a woman, but know that this is not possible for me so accept my state with the best grace I can. I know that physical- ly I am a male, but my mental state and my emotions are feminine.

In conclusion I might say that I have attended a number of universities in a number of countries and have several degrees.

48.